Wednesday , January 20 2021

Cavani, Eriksen and other imaginary interlocutors about Man United transfers

Warning signs
Edinson Cavani was perfect on Sunday and then wrote an Instagram post that could be interpreted as racist so its header value is high now. This is why anodyne quotes Ole Gunnar Solskjaer from Sunday about Cavani not having his shoes ready (“I don’t know, maybe he’ll have to learn it, as a subscriber you always have to be ready. About that”) reappeared on Tuesday morning – around 40 hours later) with this heading:

“ Man Utd boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer sends Edinson Cavani a warning ”

It can only be a file Daily Mirror and it could only be Jake Polden.

I know what you were thinking this summer
Speaking of Cavani, this is really some opportunistic nonsense with Express website:

“ What Man Utd boss Ed Woodward thought of Edinson Cavani transfer ”

Are there quotes from Ed Woodward?

Are there quotes from someone who knows Ed Woodward?

No and no. Of course not. The whole premise of this piece of down from Jack Otway is in the first paragraph:

“When Manchester United signed Edinson Cavani in the summer transfer window, many fans were negative. After spending months chasing the £ 110m Borussia Dortmund man Jadon Sancho, the Red Devils decided instead to sign the 33-year-old for free. But while many were negative, Ed Woodward and the other Red Devil chieftains thought they had made a smart deal.

So the man who makes the business decisions for Manchester United football transfers approved the Manchester United football transfer decision? And you call it news? You actually call it the Manchester-United transfer news?

He enters …

Man Utd confirms two players will surely miss PSG Champions League clash

These two players? Luke Shaw – suspended for a month just three weeks ago – and suspended Axel Tuanzebe. This is literally not new.

“ Man Utd star Donny van de Beek ticks three boxes for Ole Gunnar Solskjaer ”

Because Manchester Evening News described him as “humble, hardworking and honest.” This is literally bullshit.

We believe we preferred Express when they only cared about Princess Di, Madeleine McCann and whether the cauliflower gave you / protected you from cancer.

Beek Express
This tactic of simply writing a story – any story – around someone’s name in the news is truly amazing. Still on Expresswe get here:

Man Utd boss Solskjaer doubles up on Donny van de Beek as Juventus ‘considers trading swap’

“How” does an awful lot of hard work in that headline; Juventus transfer rumors were released on November 26.

We stand united
“LIVE News & Transfer Rumors: Man Utd Eye Movement For Eriksen” is the headline Objective. So we expect transfer news and rumors (LIVE) about Manchester United expecting a move for Christian Eriksen. It is not unreasonable.

Here’s what we have:

“Manchester United could make a move for Inter Milan quarterback Christian Eriksen if he is found to be overrun for San Siro, Football Insider reports.”

“The 28-year-old has struggled to be consistent in Serie A and might be eager to return to the Premier League – where he became famous for Tottenham.”

So to Football Insider we go… to find literally zero mention of Manchester United in the Tottenham story not interested in signing with Eriksen. Literally zero.

But it didn’t stop there Objective or indeed (“The door opens for Arsenal and Man United to sign Christian Eriksen when Tottenham decides”) as there is no party like Manchester United’s transfer event.

April showers
But Jake Polden has a rival / apprentice w Mirror in the form of Callum Vurley. Having noticed that Philippe Coutinho said something about an “exciting” Premier League, come here in a hurry …

Jurgen Klopp’s Comments on Philippe Coutinho Come Back After ‘Exciting’ Party

‘After’? The only “after” here is that Vurley wrote the story “after” Coutinho’s confession; Jurgen Klopp’s comments were made in bloody April.

Ince by Ince
‘Arsenal star Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang’ not happy ‘as transfer was endorsed despite new contract’ – Express.

(According to Paul Ince).

“ Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang leaned to leave Arsenal due to Mikel Arteta’s tactics ” – Evening standard.

(Author: Paul Ince).

Reminder: Paul Ince knows as much as we do about Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang’s position at Arsenal.

If you are going to I quote him out of desperation, at least admit you’re quoting him.

Dave Kidd has waited a long time to repeat his diatribe against Mikel Arteta with Last year in Decemberbut almost a year later it came back again.

Then: “The appointment of a 37-year-old Spaniard with no prior management experience is a long shot, almost unprecedented at a major English club.”

What about Tim Sherwood?

Now: “Never before in the Premier League era has such a large club appointed a permanent boss without prior management experience – even though Tim Sherwood has had a long interim role at Tottenham.”

Erm, what about Roy Evans?

Mediawatch is looking forward to adding this disclaimer in December 2021, but we suspect Arteta won’t last that long.

The football headline of our time
“ Fiancé of Ace from Watford, Little Mix star Leigh-Anne, hosts an illegal lockdown poker party ‘- Sun.

Mediawatch regrets not labeling Andre Gray’s £ 18.5m “Little Mix HAB”.

Day viewing recommended

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